


The Green Game.

by Eshnoazot



Series: Avengers prompt ficathon [6]
Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Gen, flappybird, marketing tactics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 05:30:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eshnoazot/pseuds/Eshnoazot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They sent me pants?"</p>
<p>"Not just any pants!" Clint's deadpanned, "Short-ready convertible pants."</p>
<p>"No," He replied, with a hardening look.</p>
<p>"But they made them for you," Clint's pointed out innocently, "The pants breathe for comfort Bruce, they breathe."</p>
<p>"Tony-"</p>
<p>"You're a big boy, you can negotiate your own sponsorship deals," Tony's was void of emotion but his lip twitched, giving away his amusement, "May I point out that they are- and I quote 'a great choice for long days on the battlefield' with 'smash-resistant stitching and liquid-proof pockets.'" </p>
<p>"No."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Green Game.

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic for inexplicabletrousers over on the tumblah.

The package was sitting on his bench, inconspicuous among the piles of paperwork and data that he never quite managed to banish. He blinked at it and frowned, wondering when it had been dropped off on his table. it certainly hadn't been there this morning, and he hadn't moved from his bench all day. The idea that someone could have entered the lab and left without his notice disturbed him, but even worse was the idea that someone had gotten so  _close_.

"Back to the world of the living yet, Brucie?" 

With a start he snapped his head towards the other side of the room, where a very bored suited Tony Stark was swinging on his wheeled chair.

"...Tony?"

"Aha, finally free of Lady Science I see," Tony grinned widely, "Hold on Doc, I'm destroying Cupid's highscore on flappybird so I can gloat over my superior hand-eye co-ordination."

"You wish Stark!" A second voice cried, making Bruce flinch before he noticed Clint, perched on his mass-spectrometer. The wayward Archer slowly retreated to another bench as soon as he caught sight of Bruce's disapproving glare.

"Aren't you suppose to be in a board-meeting?" Bruce asked with pursed lips, "With Pepper?"

"I'm sick," Tony announced casually, "Doctor's note and everything. Sore throat. Cough cough."

"Boo you whore," Clint called absentmindedly.

"Cheap shot, tweetybird."

"So calls the walking _toaster_."

"Is there a particular reason that my lab is now being used as a lounge-room?" Bruce interrupted disapprovingly, "There are sensitive equipment and experiments running in here. Not even to mention the hazardous materials."

"We were waiting on you," Clint pointed out, "You got mail, Doc. It's a riot, read it."

"- _Excuse me_?"

"All mail goes through security," Tony reminded, "It contained organic material, thus it was opened. Clint was in the vents and said that we had to be here to see-  _Oh goddamn it_!"

" _Suck it Stark! Hawkeye wins again_!"

"Best out of three."

"You said that three rounds ago."

Bruce glanced towards the two then back down towards the package with a frown. The two Avengers continued to bicker and snark in the background as he slipped a finger under the stickytaped side and tore the package open. He paused to glance towards the Archer and the Engineer for a second before reaching for the letter inside and glancing through it curiously.

_'Dear Mr Hulk,_

_I am writing to you concerning a sponsorship opportunity... '_

"Are you kidding me?" Bruce gaped as he scanned the letter.

_'Enclosed are a sample of our product, which I hope you will find to your highest standards...'_

Letting out a sigh, Bruce cautiously reached into the package and pulled out the sample, with an incredulous expression.

"They sent me  _pants_?"

"Not just any pants!" Clint's deadpanned, "Short-ready _convertible_  pants."

"No," He replied, with a hardening look.

"But they made them for you," Clint's pointed out innocently, "The pants breathe for comfort Bruce, they  _breathe_."

"Tony-"

"You're a big boy, you can negotiate your own sponsorship deals," Tony's was void of emotion but his lip twitched, giving away his amusement, "May I point out that they are- and I quote  _'_ _a great choice for long days on the battlefield'_  with  _'smash-resistant stitching and liquid-proof pockets_ _.'_ " 

" _No_."

Clint was the first to crack, letting out a snort, followed by fits of laughter that soon had Tony snickering.

"I'm not wearing them," Bruce re-instated with a glower, "The Hulk is not making sponsorship deals."

"It's an eco-friendly, ethical fashion house," Tony pointed out, "Which is why they want the Green Guy as their spokesman. Also, y'know, I'm the King of inappropriately under-dressed online videos but you're definitely challenging my throne lately."

"Ethical, eco-friendly convertible pants," Clint reinforced, "That  _breathe_."

Bruce hesitated.

"If you don't decide to use them," Clint added helpfully, glancing up from his phone, "They contain so much elastic that Tony and I want to use them as a slingshot. We're 90% sure that we could fire water-balloons at Oscorp given the right positioning."

"I'll wear them!" Bruce quickly added, "In the Tower. The Hulk isn't going to be a new marketing tactic. There will be _no deals_ for the Hulk in the media." 

"Such a shame," Tony mock-whispered to Clint, "Having the Hulk on Colbert would have been the highlight of my week."

"Yeah, but imagine him on  _Fox_ ," Clint grinned, and held out his phone, "And Tony? I win.  _Again_."


End file.
